I want to start with a simple idea that has helped me a lot over the years: when things fall apart, you don’t actually know how they’ll end. Most of the time, we assume the worst right away. I’ve learned—sometimes the hard way—that reacting emotionally too fast can blind you to what might come next.
This lesson really hit home for me after something small but upsetting happened. I lost my iPad on an Amtrak train traveling from New York City to Rochester. I fell asleep, woke up, and it was gone. I filed a report, talked to the conductor, even involved the police because of the value. And the bottom line was simple: I wasn’t getting it back.
I was completely distraught.
A Small Loss That Felt Big at the Time
That night, I saw a friend of mine—someone who has since passed away, but who was a truly great guy. He had done very well in life, and I was venting about the iPad being stolen. I relied on that thing. I used it for work, travel, everything.
He listened and then casually said, “Here, take this.”
He handed me an iPad that had four times the storage of the one I lost. The only downside was that it didn’t have cellular. But I wasn’t about to complain. Beggars can’t be choosers. I was grateful and started using Wi-Fi wherever I could find it.
At that point, I thought the story was over. Loss replaced with something decent. Not perfect—but fine.
When Things Fall Apart, Something Else Might Show Up
About a week later, we were at an event together. He asked me to pull something up on my iPad. I couldn’t. I told him it didn’t have cellular.
The next day, he handed me a brand-new iPad Mini with cellular.
Now I had two iPads. One with massive storage. One with cellular. And I wasn’t even paying the monthly bill.
So what started as “this really sucks” completely flipped. I ended up better off than where I started.
And that’s the point.
Why Emotional Detachment Matters
When something bad happens, especially in filmmaking or business, it’s easy to spiral. A deal falls apart. A role gets recast. A project dies at the finish line. I just saw this happen to a friend who lost a role he was counting on, and he was understandably upset.
But here’s the truth: you don’t know what you dodged.
You don’t know if that project would have collapsed later. You don’t know if something better is lining up. You don’t know if this clears space for the right thing.
That’s why emotional detachment matters. It doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means you don’t assume the ending before it’s written.
A Better Way to Handle Setbacks
Instead of reacting with panic, try this mindset shift:
“This happened. I don’t know yet if it’s good or bad. Let’s see how it plays out.”
That’s it.
Most people put all their emotions into one outcome. When it breaks, they break with it. But persistence comes from staying neutral long enough to see what else shows up.
Especially in this business, things rarely move in straight lines.
Keep Going, No Matter What
If something fell apart for you recently, here’s what I’d say: keep going. Stay persistent. Don’t quit just because one thing didn’t work out. You may find out later that it had to fall apart for something better to happen.
The worst moment is rarely the final moment.
Sometimes, losing the iPad is what leads to two better ones.
